I need to tell you something. And it’s critically important.
Are you sitting down? Or maybe you’re standing, possibly cleaning up the leftover mess from dinner while your loved one is watching their favorite TV show.
You can see the medication you must administer before bedtime in your peripheral.
Amid all this, are you ready to hear me out? Okay, good.
You, my dear friend, are under a heap of caregiver stress.
(Let’s just sit with that for a moment, as this information has to sink in deeper than your to-do list for tomorrow.)
Image by Digital Photo and Design DigiPD.com from Pixabay
Have you been neglecting the stress?
Are you feeling what I’m saying?
The Caregiving Guild (note to self: possibly an invention of my overstressed brain) has convinced the world that all caregiving should be filled with compassion, resilience, and strength, and of course, it should be.
But did you forget to check on yourself in this quest of putting up a brave front? Have you been neglecting the stress that you carry on your shoulders every day?
And then, the Caregiving Guild (a group that undoubtedly exists in the realm of our beliefs!) mandates that you MUST NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR STRESS, or else you’re not doing it right.
So you start stacking your stress in some secluded corner of your brain, where it will remain until it decides to explode.
Some of you may acknowledge this stress. You may laugh it off, saying, “Well, it’s part of the deal!”
You continue doing what you do, nursing the stress and tending to it day and night. You come home after a long day with fatigue seeped into your bones and a restlessness that doesn’t seem to go.
I say this as someone who knows: caregiving stress is notoriously labor-intensive and hard to manage.
If you ignore it, it piles up and grows monstrous.
If you underestimate it, it catches you off-guard.
5 signs that you might be in denial (of stress)
Listen to me.
This is important: YOU DO NOT NEED TO DISMISS YOUR STRESS. (Don’t get me started on the self-care part!)
While you may not see it now, I have found that the effect of this stress is more profound than when you acknowledge it.
“Oh no,” you say, “It cannot be that bad.”
You tell me about your caregiving journey and how rewarding it is. I agree; it is rewarding.
But it doesn’t take away the stress.
To help you out, here are 5 signs that you might be in denial:
- You’re always tired, but you never attribute it to caregiving.
- Your health is spiraling down, but you’re the last to notice it.
- You’re reluctant to ask for help, assuming it’s a burden to others.
- You keep saying, “I’m okay,” when deep down, you know you’re not.
- You dismiss your emotions, labeling them as ‘in the way’ of your responsibilities.
Recognize your stress
A caregiver friend once confessed, “I thought I was alright until I wasn’t. I dismissed it until I could no longer ignore it.”
Now, I am trying to help you ease your burden in this stressful caregiving season. Or maybe I am just trying to help myself.
Either way, it is crucial.
The most effective caregivers I know will ask for help when needed. They don’t dismiss their feelings and take care of themselves too.
After all, it feels humane to do so (or maybe it just feels like someone from the Caregiving Guild will hurl a stress ball at your knees if you don’t).
So, listen to me carefully.
Recognize your stress, embrace it, and seek help when needed. Because, my dear friend, you never need to walk this path alone.
That’s a resolution we all need, isn’t it?
